You know, I think how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us are seldom the same. People keep telling me that I got this, that I'm the toughest woman they know, like they envision me strolling into the Cancer Center like a boss, kicking the doors open, wind blowing my hair back, as I stand fierce and ready to kick cancers ass - cancer fighting badass, that's me... Just call me Gemma, Gemma Teller... Then you take a peek at reality, where I've literally spent most of the day sick to my stomach, heart racing, head fuzzy, all because I have to have an hour long surgery tomorrow... Don't mind me, I'm just over here being anything but a badass, the panic attack will be over in a minute, continue about your business folks, nothin' to see here... People keep telling me "You got this!" while I'm sitting there, taking deep breaths, willing myself not to vomit at work. Definitely don't got this. Nope, whole lot of nope there, don't go