It's been over a year since my last post. Over a year of, per usual, making no progress. Stalling out, making excuses, making more excuses, of knowing what I'm supposed to do but too damn scared to do it. June 24th, 2021 I was baptized, because I wanted to leave that life behind me. Because I wanted to be all in, to fully embrace God and the life He had in store for me, to not waste a moment of this second chance he's given me. In celebration of this moment, a good friend had given me a bracelet that said "I left it in the water." I loved that bracelet, I wanted it to be my mantra, the cute little saying to remind me that I had left my former life, and baggage, behind me. That I was stepping into this new life, this second chance, a new, brave, faith filled woman. But it didn't take long for the luster of possibility and change to wear off, revealing the truth, that I wasn't a new woman, and I hadn't left any of it in the water. Well, maybe I left so